Annoying Holiday Car Commercials
Author: Tyler
Is anyone reading between the lines in these fuzzy Christmas car commercials? You know…the ones that always have a shiny new car in the driveway wrapped up in a pretty red bow. Meanwhile, inside the perfectly snow-capped middle class suburbia-home sits a bubbly couple playing a strange game of “I know something you don’t know.” Then thank God they put down the cheesy charade and scurry outside to what has “arose such a clatter.” Cut to: “WOW!” he/she replies with an over the top holiday smile that would even make Santa’s lip curl. The hug and blah blah blah. Anyhow, here’s how it would really go down: (cue Christmas song) The happily anxious spouse opens their eyes and…(cue record scratch) The smile turns to jaw clenching anger.
—”WHAT THE F**K!!!?”
—”You…You…You..I cant ____A FU**K**G CAR!!!?”
—”So what your telling me is that for Christmas your gift to me is more debt during a recession?”
(no answer.dead silence. tears flow)
—”Or did you just happen to have Forty large laying around you conveniently forgot about?”
(sobbing now. kids too)
—”DIDNT THINK SO!!!”
—”Thanks a fu****g” lot.
(storms inside and slams the door as the wreath falls off)
Lesson learned: If you are going to _______buuuuuuy me a car. Make sure I have no financial ties to it.
Or the insurance.
Oh. And chip in for gas.
Tyler Christopher
Posted in From The Beach
I know right ! Who in their right mind would think of buying a brand new car during a recession ? I KNOW !! your broke ass husband who thinks that would make you happy thats who ! sigh..
How about that Christmas commercial where the guy comes home for the holidays – and his elderly parents run off with his new Audi?
That one cracked me up. He comes in the front door and they go out the back, sneak around the house and boost his ride! LOL!
And it doesn’t look like they’re returning anytime soon!
Happy New Year to you and yours, Tyler! : ) <3
Right? Unless your spouse won said car in a sweepstakes or a lucky card game, who is happy about the gift of new debt? Hope the new car comes with a large bottle of valium & a generous return policy.